20 some-odd things about_Kristi_

1. driven and STUBBORN!

2. narrow minded

3. water snob

4. lacks a large amount of common sense


5. has to smell everything before using/eating/throwing away

6. cannot tolerate change (see #2 and #1)

7. still uses her fingers to count... sorry boys, come to dad when you have a math question

8. one of the most indecisive people on the planet

9. very good with introducing "word of the week" into our conversations - the most recent was VAPID to describe a woman at the grocery store (yes - the grocery store...)

10. freaked out by birds and clowns

11. refuses to admit when she has lost an argument

12. reality TV junkie

13. cannot tell you what direction is North (or south for that matter...)

14. demeaning and condescending to people who use the word "supposably" or "expecially" (for those that do, trust me, that is the incorrect spelling - for those of you who do not - throw it in a sentence in front of her craziness...)


15. showed her left boob to a LARGE handful of kids at a water park - to be fair, it was a violent water slide ride and she had no idea "it" was out looking around - but hooray for puberty, as several 12 yr old boys got an eye full!

16. Her Top 5 are: Justin Timberlake, Ryan Felipe, Josh Duhamel, McDreamy or McSteamy from Grey's Anatomy, and the "runner-up" on the Bachelor each season. her husband does not look like any of them, so here's to forever happy.

17. talks on her cellphone while driving - yeah, she probably cut you off the other day because of it...

18. ridicules and harbors contempt for me for "allowing" each of the boys to roll off the couch (only a few times, each) - but has locked them inside the car!!! (probably because she was on the damn phone...)

19. does not have a legitimate hobby because reality TV does not count

20. pops her knuckles constantly

21. HATES, HATES, HATES feet and toes ("expecially" mine)

22. Has never, ever, ever farted in front of me - weird, right?

23. Used to think BOTH Alaska and Hawaii were floating islands out in the middle of the ocean southwest of California because that is how they were depicted on a map - this came up one time (within the last 5 years...) as she was baffled to know my friend drove here from Alaska... (note to self: have a globe for the boys or an accurate map)

24. She is an amazing mother and 9 times out of 10, she is right about what to do with the boys - but my way would have worked too...

25. Wants to be pregnant again because she claims our deal was "two pregnancies" as opposed to the agreement I remember making that we would have "two children" - that was not the deal, babe.

Tune in next week for a retaliation list of "fun facts" about Andy

25 Random things about _Ethan_

1. born second but is the larger twin

2. Nose breather - when sick, gets very frustrated with switching to the mouth

3. Does not have a cute butt (i dont know what it is...) - but he loves being naked!!!



4. Does not wake with the sun - 4:45 means up and at em for Ethan

5. Has the brightest smile you will ever see. When he smiles he lights up a room (seriously)


6. Has 4 teeth (two on the bottom, and two on the top, but NOT the middle two--he is a little dracula - or hillbillie - possibly an englishman...)

7. has the best voice (very cute and raspy)

8. thinks everything is fun, exciting, and amazing - EVEN AT 3-FREAKING-A.M!!!

9. Wakes up in a good mood and smiles immediately

10. steals things from his brother and is clueless that it upsets Shawn

11. could care less when his brother steals things from him.

12. loves playing in the dog's bowls (when in the care of dad...)

13. has terrible separation anxiety

14. takes great naps, but not so good at sleeping at night

15. his cheeks are always bright red

16. loves books - like a fat kid loves cake... really, you will see...

17. will eat anything, except fruit

18. LOVES to look at himself in the mirror - "I love me some me!"

19. gives kisses - open mouth, with tongue - cute and disgusting all at the same time

20. seems to love Modest Mouse - any time it is on in the car, Ethan will shout in his raspy voice to mimic the lead singer

21. will only nap swaddled in his swing

22. must be touching his brother at all times when they are near each other.

23. helps Kristi burp Shawn after they are done eating

24. is freakishly strong

25. likely going to be a model. When the camera comes out he stops what he is doing looks up and smiles.


Tune in next week for 25 things about Kristi - authored by yours truly... tune in sometime after that for a retaliation "25 things about Andy"...

25 Things about_Shawn_

1. He smelled like butter when he was a newborn

2. He is a mouth breather

3. Inherited his dad's giant teeth and head, along with short legs

4. Inherited his mom's eye lashes and butt chin (sorry buddy)

5. Cant stand formula

6. Has an anger problem

7. Possessive

8. Scared of strangers
9. takes approximately 6 1/2 minutes to adjust to being awake

10. eats paper (if left in the care of his dad)

11. eats poop (if left in the care of his dad)

12. french kissed the dog a couple times (in the care of his dad...)

13. If he hits his head on a toy or floor - you can convince him he s not hurt if you act like that happens to everyone or its no big deal - seriously.

14. obsessed with the blow dryer

15. seems to fart and sneeze at the same time - often

16. hates the sunlight in his face

17. loves to sing

18. his butt is shaped like a heart

19. crinkles his forhead and scrunches his nose when he smiles (so cute)

20. looks good in anything (very fashionable) - can even pull off christmas sweaters

21. can clap

22. gets very proud of himself over the littlest accomplishment.

23. is likely going to be a mechanic (goes "under the hood" of the jumperoo frequently)


24. has 6 teeth (four on the top two on the bottom)

25. Has the cutest smile

Nature Vs. Nurture

For all you judgmental people (myself included), the next time you see that kid at the grocery store drop kick an avocado or the kid that screams "daddy look at my ting ting"... before judging the parents of these "unruly" kids, let me shed a bit of light onto the situation:


We have two kids, born 32 minutes apart. They sleep 3 feet apart from one another, they eat 12" apart, they play on top of each other, they scream at the same time, they get hugs just as often, they get tickled the same amount, they both love staring and laughing at their naked bodies in the mirror (im just the narrator - i cant make these things up), they both think fart noises are hilarious, we talk to them together and separately, we feed them together, we put them down to bed and naps together, we read to them together - no favorites, no bias. They are on the same routine day in and day out - Please explain to me how the hell they are complete opposites??!!?? Nature vs. Nuture:


Shawn sleeps all night, Ethan abides by the "sleeping optional" policy.
Shawn is a gentle and sweet cuddler, Ethan is an english soccer hooligan who will head butt and grab your face until it bleeds - not out of anger or malice, he is just a brute.
Ethan is quite possibly the happiest baby on the planet; Shawn has a bit (understatement of the year) of an anger management issue - we will call it a temper.
Ethan has separation anxiety, Shawn can talk to himself all day and night
Shawn wakes up at 7am, Ethan - 430am
Ethan will lay his arm over Shawn when he is crying - Shawn will stare at Ethan if he screams in pain or anger.
Shawn has cut 5 teeth in the last few weeks with very little fuss, Ethan appears to be cutting his first tooth and you would think he broke his arm
Ethan has to have the shiny object he sees 3 feet in front of him - he will roll, scoot, shimmy, pull blankets to get to that object, Shawn may want the object, but if it does not come to him, he finds ways to move on.
Ethan flinches at the slightest sound, Shawn thinks every noise is fascinating.
Ethan loves formula, Shawn refuses anything but breastmilk
Ethan is a Cardinals fan, Shawn is a Jets fan - what are you gonna do?

Hooray for PEAS!

Amidst the many food groups available and introduced to the boys these last few weeks, FREAKING PEAS take home the highest rating. Not just a "MMM, MMM give me more," its a HURRY UP! HURRY UP! GIVE ME MORE! like a crackhead. PEAS?!?!? Really? Oatmeal - Yum. Squash - Alright. Sweet Potatoes - Whatever. Avocado - yes please! Bananas - Shivers with a bit of gag reflex. Peas are met with screams and squeals like Andy at a Jonas Brothers concert... Meanwhile, the boys continue to do well sleeping, Ethan is up once in a while, but we seem to be headed in the right direction. The boys could care less about the Christmas tree - this is about the most attention they paid the tree this year as Andy cussed and yelled about the lights in knots as we decorated the tree. Christmas cheer was abound in the Hesse house this year... The boys are officially spoiled by the Grandparents and Great Grandparents Our house is a wasteland of toys, bouncers, swings, jumperoos, highchairs and children's laundry... hopefully our families are not too disgusted by the third world living conditions the boys are surrounded with - however, hopefully any judgmental family member will realize it is their doing with the 946 buzzing, singing, flashing and moving toys purchased for the boys in the last month... Shawn can stick out his tongue, at all times, morning, night, while eating, while playing, while drooling, talking - we are not sure if he wants us to copy him or not, but the tongue has entertained him for about 6 days now... Ethan is a bully - he insists on touching his brother when next to him on the couch, stroller or high chair, however, during play time - poor shawn gets grabbed, pulled, poked, laid upon and punched. Shawn can put any object directly in his mouth - yet struggles with sweet potatoes... Grandpa Dave played with a singing, rolling, flashing, self propelled, vibrating ball the boys got for christmas - yes - toys do all those things these days... i guarantee i will break my ankle on the toy shown in this photo - either i will kick the 8 pound object through a window or a wall or roll my ankle in the middle of the night, and as i writhe in pain over the incident the woman's voice within the ball will ask, "Hey! Wanna play? ROLL ME! HAHAHA!" I hate that toy already, but of course, its the boys favorite... The boys were moved out of their infant carriers a bit too late (shame on Kristi)...
Ethan at 30 weeks old
Ethan at 2 weeks old

Shawn at 30 weeks old

Shawn at 2 weeks old

All in all, it was a great christmas - we are blessed by these two boys and can not imagine it any other way. The two of them are interacting with one another by staring, touching, holding and fighting already. Its an overwhelming feeling to realize how lucky we are to have the two of them, but even better to know that they have each other. We have come to realize our life is a series of FIREALARMS as the boys go from 0-60 within seconds, the sad and sobering reality is, they arent even moving yet. HERES TO 2009!

The light at the end of the tunnel

Jinx or no jinx, Kristi allowed THE MAN to lay down the rules and we let the boys "cry it out". Needless to say, WE WON!!! The first night was 1.5 hours of pure torture, Ethan woke Shawn up and they both wailed for over an hour each (have no fear grandmas, we checked on them every 5-10 minutes, with very little threatening). The next night the agony lasted 2 hours - poor Ethan was very tired the next day (go figure). Night three - 15 minutes. Night four - (drumrole...) 3 minutes. And beautiful night FIVE - about 4 grunts and done. Thank you, thank you - we are now faced with the nights full of sleep, we do not know what to do with ourselves (David - I will keep this to a PG rating - but i thank you for your opinion), and what the heck will we write about on the blog - time to get some new material.
Ahh, the joy of success. We are very lucky to have two good babies, and I know full well that they will regress and i will pay for these statements - but DANG it feels good to sleep! I will put it this way - 9 months ago, I wanted a new mattress - last night I was convinced that I was sleeping on THE most comfortable mattress on the planet - Its also shocking how much we like each other more with some shut eye - apparently, Andy does not look very good with bags under his eyes and Kristi did not wear that "dont mess with me, i'm tired" look very well. SLEEP, WONDERFUL SLEEP!!! Christmas has come early!

aside from the conquering sleep, Kristi has started making baby food. The real thing takes a heck of a long time to prep, but OOH WEE! its pretty good! the boys are all about it.


Ethan is days from crawlingBristo is days from being shot or asked to run away (he is an attention whore, any time we are playing with the boys, Bristo insists on being part of the action) - things are looking up for Bristo, however, the boys are moving to solid foods and testing their hand eye coordination with puffs - its not going well for them, but Bristo has hit the jackpot!
Shawn has started physical therapy for his neck - no need for alarm, either his head is giant or he favors one side - we have enlisted some light impact workouts to get him back on pace.

Shawn also grew two sharp teeth from tuesday to wednesday - he woke up one morning with two very sharp biting utensils - teething is easy (so far).


Other than that, we are slowly evolving into a normal and boring family (+/- one dog), i am sure once we have two babies crawling in different directions, we should have an entertaining story or two.

6 months, a bit of progress and a lot of chaos...

the last six months have been about the longest span of our lives - a lot has happened and each night is an adventure in patience, (spousal) tolerance, and the delicate experimenting of "how much sleep do need to achieve (fill in the blank) task". People ask us what it is like with twins - Andy's cousins are twins and they had a perfect response, "what's it like not being a twin?" - we could not even imagine. These two boys are amazing in every way, we could not even fathom the work load or our lives with only one. Our relationship with each other and the bond with our kids would be entirely different. It was cheesey when we heard it, but this last six months has been the hardest, most rewarding times of our lives - we feel like the luckiest people on the planet... here's to them never growing up and making me eat these words.

November Highlights:
1. we finally started the boys on rice cereal
2. Shawn sleeps through the night
3. Ethan does not
4. Shawn is practicing for american Idol
5. Ethan tried to convince us that our bed was the only way he could sleep at night - we fought and won that battle.
6. Ethan rocked the vote on Nov. 4th
7. Shawn can sleep through a gun fight
8. Ethan can not
9. Shawn can be put in his crib at nap time and fall to sleep on his own
10. Ethan does not
11. Kristi can change baby A diaper and still manage Baby B from rolling off the couch
12. Andy cannot
13. Andy can change a diaper at 2am without opening his eyes
14. Kristi does not think that is something to be proud of
15. The boys think Andy is the funniest person on the planet
16. Kristi does not