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6 weeks later...
As we celebrate the twins actual due date, we are excited at the opportunity to finally get out of the house. In fact, our first low impact outing brought on gawkers and "oh, are they twins?" comments, - no lady, I bought this double stroller with a coupon at a 1/2 off sale at the walmart, so to make use of it, I ask the neighbor if i can borrow his kid to go to the store. We are waiting for the comment, "are they natural?" - if we are in the right mood, the answer just may be, "funny you should ask, this one was born without a head, so we had one sewed on, and this one we equipped with a 45 yr old man's penis, so, no, they are not natural - but a whole lot of fun to take in public!" Bring on the freak show.
For those out there not familiar with the offensive terminology for twins - asking if they are "natural" implies they are processed with left over cow parts, like a Costco hot dog. The correct terminology would be "spontaneous" for twins created the old fashioned way, the opposite of that, ("un-natural") would be those twins produced by assistance. In both cases the baby(s) grow naturally. Our twins were the product of (2) fertilized eggs - therefore they look very different. Identical twins are th e product of one egg splitting very early after fertilization. Keep this in mind later, as there may be a quiz. As we adjust to no sleep, and two little boys that are gaining weight faster than Jared off the Subway diet, we have accepted the fact that after 11pm, Kristi's head starts to spin and speak in tongue - freaking scary. After 11pm, Andy cant be trusted to not put one of the boys in the fridge with the milk - he has the IQ of 16 after 12am.
We went to El Conquistador to mooch off Aunt Lori and Uncle David as we sat pool-side for all of 12 minutes in 110 degree shade.
To finish our update on a less offensive note - fathers day was alot of fun, having the perfect day with doughnuts, Dunkin Doughnuts coffee and the boys and dad watched European Championship all day long - except when Grampa Dave forced us to watch Tiger win the US Open with one leg... all in all, a great day.
Week 4for those out there with one child, suck it up! Either we have two "easy" babies, or one child would be a piece of cake! Any method or "system" we had for making it through the night is out the window. we make it up as we go, and that usually means one of us gets an hour or two of sleep. They just insist on being up at the same time these days. the best sleep we get is from 530am to 730am.
Diaper Count - June 8th = 570 f@&*$*# DIAPERS!(we gain nothing by exaggerating that number - in fact, if i were to fake the number to be lower, people would think a little more of us - trust us, we are just as shocked as you)
Ethan got circumcized - poor little guy. thats the mold they strapped him down - Kristi stayed in another room, Andy attended the massacre for support and accurate documentation. We went back and forth about "to sleeve or not to sleeve" - we opted to go with "no sleeve" because it would be more likely they want it done in the future, and they would be less likely to want it reversed than be the only boy in class with an anteater.
It did cross Andy's mind to do one and not the other - Kristi wouldnt let that experiment go through. Poor Ethan took it like a man, now he has a little red nosed reindeer. (Due to kiddie porn laws, we opted not to show the before and after shots. A nice mental image analogy: think of a travel size red lipstick, without the cap...)
He hates it when we make him lay on it...
Shawn continues to add rolls, on the bright side, the larger his body gets, the smaller his head looks. The Doctor forced us to wait a week for Shawn's circ - we are glad he did - having one pissed off baby was enough for us. stay tuned.
As we celebrate the twins actual due date, we are excited at the opportunity to finally get out of the house. In fact, our first low impact outing brought on gawkers and "oh, are they twins?" comments, - no lady, I bought this double stroller with a coupon at a 1/2 off sale at the walmart, so to make use of it, I ask the neighbor if i can borrow his kid to go to the store. We are waiting for the comment, "are they natural?" - if we are in the right mood, the answer just may be, "funny you should ask, this one was born without a head, so we had one sewed on, and this one we equipped with a 45 yr old man's penis, so, no, they are not natural - but a whole lot of fun to take in public!" Bring on the freak show.
For those out there not familiar with the offensive terminology for twins - asking if they are "natural" implies they are processed with left over cow parts, like a Costco hot dog. The correct terminology would be "spontaneous" for twins created the old fashioned way, the opposite of that, ("un-natural") would be those twins produced by assistance. In both cases the baby(s) grow naturally. Our twins were the product of (2) fertilized eggs - therefore they look very different. Identical twins are th e product of one egg splitting very early after fertilization. Keep this in mind later, as there may be a quiz. As we adjust to no sleep, and two little boys that are gaining weight faster than Jared off the Subway diet, we have accepted the fact that after 11pm, Kristi's head starts to spin and speak in tongue - freaking scary. After 11pm, Andy cant be trusted to not put one of the boys in the fridge with the milk - he has the IQ of 16 after 12am.
We went to El Conquistador to mooch off Aunt Lori and Uncle David as we sat pool-side for all of 12 minutes in 110 degree shade.
To finish our update on a less offensive note - fathers day was alot of fun, having the perfect day with doughnuts, Dunkin Doughnuts coffee and the boys and dad watched European Championship all day long - except when Grampa Dave forced us to watch Tiger win the US Open with one leg... all in all, a great day.
